A Prayer in Despondency
To be said when the heart is heavy, that sorrow may not harden into despair.
O Lord Jesus Christ our God, Light that no darkness overtakes, Thou who dost hold the whole world in Thy hand and dost not weary; who art enthroned above the heavens and yet dost stoop to the broken heart; before whom the angels veil their faces, and before whom the least of Thy servants may stand and speak: glory be to Thee.
I thank Thee, O Master, that Thou hast brought me to this hour. I thank Thee for the breath that is in me, which I did not give myself; for the mercies I have forgotten and the dangers I never saw; for the prayers Thou hast answered, and for those Thou hast withheld in Thy wisdom. I thank Thee even for this heaviness, that in it I may learn that I am not my own strength.
But I confess to Thee, O Lord, that my soul is bowed down within me. My heart is sluggish; prayer is dry in my mouth; the day stands before me like a weight I cannot lift. And I confess that I have consented to this heaviness. I have looked at my sins and not at Thy mercy. I have measured Thy love by my own feeling and found it wanting, and this is a lie against Thee. Forgive me, O Lord: I have let sorrow speak to me in Thy place.
Therefore I beg Thee, O Lover of mankind: do not let this despondency ripen into despair. Set a guard upon my thoughts. Let me not say in my heart, there is no help for me, for Thou art my help. Give me the small strength for the next small thing — to rise, to work, to speak kindly, to stand again before Thine icons when I feel nothing. Grant me tears that soften and not tears that drown. Send me, if it be Thy will, one word of comfort by the mouth of a friend, or by Thy Scriptures, or by the silence of Thy presence. And if this darkness must remain a while longer, grant me to bear it without bitterness, trusting that Thou art working where I cannot see.
Into Thy hands, O Lord, I commend my soul and my body, my mind and my memory, this day and this night, and whatever is coming that I fear. Through the prayers of Thy most pure Mother, of my patron saint, and of all the saints who passed through this same darkness and came out into Thy light, keep me.
For Thou art a good God and lovest mankind, and unto Thee do we send up glory: to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.